Thursday, December 02, 2004

Pacify Muslims by dropping paper cranes on them

We could certainly learn a thing or two about keeping the peace from the honorable Buddhist kingdom of Thailand. When they start to have the kind of trouble with the Muslim population that has led to horrors worldwide, the premier Thaksin Shinawatra (you'll want to memorize that name -- it'll be on Jeopardy someday) wastes no time with acts of complicated diplomacy or messy police actions -- nope, he gets people folding origami cranes.

This is a front-page story in today's Wall St. Journal (again, a subscription-only thing so I can't link), but it should have come from a Dave Barry column. Apparently, Shinawatra has been sensing unrest in the Muslim-dominated southern provinces, where hundreds have died in violence that escalated after a brutal police crackdown on Muslim protesters resulted in 85 deaths, mostly through ill-treatment.

So, what to do? Wellllll, through the kind of enlightenment that would only come to most of us after a Nyquil enema, Shinawatra arrived at the absolutely wonderful idea of having the entire population fold paper cranes (which bring peace and hope to their beholders, according to Japanese tradition) for every man, woman and child in Thailand. That's 63,000,000 paper cranes.

And how to bestow these favorable tidings? Why, you take them up in planes and drop them out of bomb-bay doors on the unsuspecting heads of the southern Muslims, of course. After all, what could possibly soothe those jihad-invoking hotheads more than being pelted with 63 million pellets of carefully folded -- and altogether meaningless -- good will?

Well, not altogether meaningless. Actually, some Muslims are already offended by the gesture, since their religion considers representation of any created thing as idolotry.

As Dave Barry says, I am not making this up.


Blogger alana said...

For some reason, I think this is going to backfire miserably.

December 3, 2004 at 6:09 AM  
Blogger Radoje S. said...

While I certainly admire the intention to find a peaceful solution, this sounds like the sort of thing a 19 year old girl named "Sunbeam" living at a commune in California would think up, NOT something a responsible head of state would propose as a solution.
Oh well...

December 3, 2004 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger The Parson said...

The story is funny. Your commentary is even funnier. "Nyquil enema"? Yeeowch!

December 7, 2004 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

I don't know what made me say 'Nyquil enema'. It's a horrible idea.

I just thought this story was the saddest example of good intentions gone bad. I don't know if they've done it by now, but I'd love to hear how it went.

It actually reminds me a little of that episode of "WKRP in Cincinnati" where they drop live turkeys out of a helicopter on people as a holiday promotion.

December 8, 2004 at 11:54 AM  
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